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Top Stories

Donald Trump is back in New Hampshire, lamenting how bad the heroin problem has gotten, and wondering how anyone could have a heroin problem when there are so many beautiful lakes and trees around. He vows to stop the “flow of poison” by – you guessed it – building a wall!

Hillary Clinton stops in Iowa and meets with a 103-year-old supporter who has waited her entire life to vote for a female President. She proudly lets Hillary know that she raised her son right, because he’s a Democrat, and Hillary is delighted to meet her.

Libertarian VP Bill Weld shows up on cable news to discuss yet another embarrassing gaffe his running mate Gary Johnson made, noting that it’s a huge understatement to say Gary isn’t so great at pop quizzes.

And Celebrity Cruises’ CEO delivers a searing burn to Trump supporters, saying that if their new anti-Trump ad causes any passengers to refuse to take a Celebrity cruise, they probably weren’t taking Celebrity cruises in the first place. Ouch.